Let’s start with this. Carter Crabtree is a Florida Boy, NOT a “Florida Man” who comes in many shapes, sizes, and mentalities.
Florida Man is a modern, scarily accurate, representation of the cascade of amazingly odd shit that flows downstream daily here in The Sunshine State. Little known secret: There aren’t that many of the "Florida Man" sub-species. Nonetheless, "Florida Man" is media-savvy and knows just when to show up in weird situations where cops are involved.
A ‘Florida Boy’ is a totally different creature.
As for Carter Crabtree, well, that's me. The photograph is one taken of my great-grandfather in 1915, along with his mother, his wife, and my maternal grandmother. All of this, it would appear, makes Carter a born-and-raised, genuine, Florida Boy. Remember, not a "Florida Man."
To be sure, Carter Crabtree is not the name on my birth certificate. You might want to try Walter Balleau (pronounced bah-loo). Some call me Wally.
I was born in 1952 and did many things. Being from Florida, I watched this whole, insane, money plot unfold, and then, explode. And, while I cherish my youth here, the landscape has changed so dramatically and definitely not for the better. In my older age, I decided it would be a good thing to take my past skills and apply them. The result is this little corner of the Internet Universe: www.badflorida.com.
I stared at the photo, and into the eyes, of my great-grandfather. The name Carter Crabtree came to mind. In order to do what I wanted, I needed a name change. Take Samuel Clemens (a.k.a. Mark Twain) and Benjamin Franklin (a.k.a. Poor Richard) as examples. They basically did the same thing, just to get a different voice out there.
So, I asked the memory of my great-grandfather, “You okay with me using your picture and a different name?” His answer, “I don’t what the HELL you’re doin’. But okay. Just eat what you kill.”
A few words about badflorida.com: We try to offer actual, usable information interspersed with satire, personal musings, and all kinds of other stuff. Hint: I try to tie something to every photo and I change things up here and there. As an added bonus, you'll find generally forgotten, but amazing, true Florida stories, that Really Did Happen. So, you never know what's going to pop up. I hope you find the site informative and, you bet, fun.
Thank you, great-granddaddy, for your after-life patience and understanding. I do believe you had a muse visit you, once upon a time.
And, to those who actually took the time to read this all the way, Carter Crabtree thanks you, too.